I'm reading a book right now that was recommended to me by a life coach-and let me just say-I am a big fan of life coaches. In fact, if life coaches started a religious cult, I would probably give it some serious thought to join. But, that's just me...and realistically life coaches would never create a religious cult, so moving on.
The book I'm reading and TED talks I watched given by the author, Brene Brown (book title = Daring Greatly) is pretty damn remarkable and has been giving me some real "ah ha" moments. A big part of Brene's insight has to do with vulnerability. And man, let me just say, I could really use a little work in this area. Something interesting she says is that vulnerability and shame are linked and shame is exemplified in women as the inability to "do it all", something I know is often an uphill battle for me. I want to be the best mom, the top employee, in good shape, a hot wife, an intelligent and engaging conversationalist, a good friend, etc. etc. etc. Once in a blue moon, I freakin' lose it and have a meltdown and usually take it out on my husband.
Does this sound familiar to you? Say yes, or just leave the page. Seriously.
I'm realizing as I read more and more, I need to allow myself to be imperfect more. I need to redirect myself to be less critical more. I need to force myself be vulnerable more.
Vulnerable?! WTF...forcing myself to be vulnerable seems like the entire contradiction of what I am striving for everyday. I mean, doesn't the self-fulfilling prophecy counter this? If I believe I am vulnerable, I will be vulnerable, which means I will also be (gasp!) weak?! And weak, I am sure as hell, NOT.
But that's just that. Vulnerability apparently is not weakness. It's a hard pill to swallow. And I don't swallow pills, no-really I can't. I literally have a phobia of pills getting caught in my throat, so I have to do all these crazy head motions and drink like 4 glasses of water to swallow anything larger than Advil. But yeah, apparently, vulnerability is NOT weakness, it's something far more profound and actually (so I hear) very rewarding if you can embrace it.
So pretty soon, I'm going to be taking a big step wearing some vulnerability stilettos (if I'm going to be vulnerable, I may as well do it fabulously) and officially share this blog. You read that right, I have yet to actually tell anyone the official site of this thing. And by taking that step, I hope to walk the catwalk of vulnerability with enough confidence, perseverance and uniqueness to crush any fear or weakness that comes along with that bitch you love to hate, "Vulnerability".