I used to be such a worrier. Things really stressed my out. My house not being clean, my kids not eating enough, my bank account not growing fast enough, you name it. So I'd be stressed and then I'd be stressed about being stressed and worried I wasn't enjoying the moment because, really, I wasn't. WTF?! Does that sound normal to you? If so, I'm so sorry. Because, honey-it's not. You need to let-it-go in the words of Princess Elsa.
Now I'm a warrior. Do I still worry? Umm, yes-it's called being a mother. Who doesn't worry about their kids is, no judgement here, but probably not a really good mom. We all worry whether our kids are going to thrive, be successful, be damaged by our trial and error parenting (especially the first one-default experimental child), etc. etc. etc. We should be concerned. It's because we care about them that we are. The difference now is that I have practiced something I actually pride myself on being pretty good at throughout life--being a controller. But now, instead of wanting to control everything I can't, I'm controlling everything I can. And DAMN, it is life changing.
This didn't happen overnight. I didn't wake up one morning from a sleep deprived night of child rearing and say, "Ok, that's it. I'm relinquishing control of A, B and C and focusing only on X, Y and Z." It sure as hell wasn't that simple. It was an evolution, a maturing, a surrounding myself with the right people and distancing myself from the wrong ones. And you can do this too. Trust me.
Here are some ways to make it happen:
1. Laugh/smile everyday. Just do it. Change your facial expression on purpose if you have to. Watch a cute Youtube video. Call your funny friend--we all have one, Mia. ;)
2. When you start sensing that W.B. (worry bitch) approaching, ask yourself: "What can I do to make myself less worried/stressed about this?" If the answer is nothing, there you have it. If the answer is something, do it and then forget it. You've done what you can. It's in God's hands.
3. Eat healthy. I know this is an insane concept because worrying/stressing makes you just want to eat comfort foods like chocolate, fries or ice cream, right? But actually, I know for me that eating too much sugar or too much of anything terrible really is a total mood killer. It makes me stress more and even feel kind of sad. So, if you want to eat some chocolate, by all means, do it (I do), but don't follow it with a junk food binge fest.
4. Hang out with people who make you feel good. This is tough. Like at work for example, we can't always control this. Or with family, we all know how that can go. But, what CAN you control here? Do you need to have lunch with your negative Nancy colleague? Pack your own healthy lunch and do something for yourself during that time. Is it absolutely necessary you go to your 3rd cousin's baby shower? Send a gift--she'll love it.
5. Write down your goals and then map out a way to get there. I used to worry about these giant things like, making more money or having the funds to renovate my house. Write it down, baby. It makes it feel more real and breaking it down into smaller increments makes it feel more attainable. It will also make you feel super accomplished when you can be checking things as complete on that list.
So stop being a worrier and start being a warrior. I know you have it in you. If I can do it, you can too.