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One on One Time For Busy Mamas

Working mom

+ 3 kids under 5

+ twins (included in that count, don’t worry)

+ wife

+ home manager

+ chef

+ housekeeper


= not a whole lot of time for anything else.

I pride myself on being pretty damn efficient managing all of the above, so why do I choose to do something totally inefficient, like spending time with my kids one on one when I could be checking off the quality time with my kids box by spending time with all three at once? I’ll tell you why…

Let’s start with the older boys—the twins.

Now, I’m not a twin, but I hang out with a set of them every day. And usually, my time spent with them is, you guessed it, together. They go to the same preschool, are in the same class, and do the same activities...for now. This will change (the class and activities, schools likely not-I don’t want to go overboard here), but right now, they are together A LOT. Oh, and did I mention? They’re identical! Yep, people are constantly confusing them, calling them one combined name and treating them a little bit like they’re 1.5 kids. Until recently, I didn’t realize how much these guys were being deprived of individuality in their daily lives. So, I started making the effort to change that.

I know what you’re thinking. How can I make time for this when I barely have enough time for anything? Well, mama, believe it or not, you don’t need to carve out lots of hours or an elaborate day at the zoo or something really big here. Actually, I don’t recommend that. You’d probably have a ton of mom guilt later for not including your other equally as interested offspring.

You know what I do?

I do little things that give us time together, just us, to chat and connect without consistent sibling interruptions.

Here are some ways I make this work.

  1. First off, I set realistic goals. I tell myself that once a quarter, I will have a one on one date with each kid. That’s a total of 1 one on one date per month. I think that’s pretty doable. And lately, I’ve been exceeding it, so you know the overachiever in me is giving myself a high five…(or essentially clapping because that’s what giving yourself a high five really is, isn’t it?I digress…)

  2. My kids love bagels and we don’t eat them that often. Sometimes our one on one dates are an hour at the bagel store. I let my kid pick a chocolate chip bagel AND a chocolate milk (rebel, I know). I give you this example because I also like being