Excuse Abuse
Aug 04, 2021
I feel extremely fortunate to be a coach, mentor, advocate for the working mom and I pride myself on being able to relate, to identify, and to help this community achieve incredible results in the things they want to do, whether those things are landing new jobs, starting businesses, outsourcing tedious tasks they loathe so they have more time for relaxation, socialization, and having actual fun with their kids, not just directing traffic at home all the time, you name it. I LOVE supporting this community.
But, what comes with the territory of this high reward is the high risk. And the high risk when you’re a time management and productivity coach for busy AF moms is this: the barrier to entry can be a little hard. Why? Because you’re so busy, you’re so inundated doing all the things for all the people, you’re so depending upon, you forget what it’s like to dedicate time, attention, money, and space to yourself in order to achieve BIG picture results.
For example...
Do you ever feel like you are so caught up in the daily grind, that you barely even have a minute or a speck of free energy to even think about what you might need support with. The lack of time and clear, white space that you need to even find the thing you may or may not be seeking, you have no idea because you’re so damn busy. And when you get a free moment, you just want to numb out. You just want your nails to look pretty. Or you just want to let loose with some wine or cocktails because you only have 2.5 hours this weekend to yourself and that seems to be all you can handle. So, you pop a band aid on your gushing wound and hope you can slow the bleeding enough to get you through another week.
Then, there’s the feeling of stuckness. You feel just that. You feel stuck in your career because the money’s good. The benefits are good. You have a mortgage. You have preschool tuition and soccer equipment to pay for. And how could you ever leave the stability that your 9-5 provides you with? Yes, it’s comparable to a perpetual cycle of purgatory. I am a 12 year catholic school veteran, so if you’re reading and you’re not sure exactly what purgatory means, this is how it was explained and define to me as a kid. Purgatory is like the ultimate waiting room and by ultimate, I don't mean a positive ultimate. I mean, it has no prime time morning talk show television blaring. It has no magazines. It has no one else in there to start a conversation with. There are no windows, nothing to distract yourself from. And the timeline of how long you’ll be there is totally unknown. So, you're stuck and life is just passing you by. And you feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. You feel stuck and you don’t see a way out.
And then there’s the belief that you should always be giving 110% or you’re lazy AF. Think about the last time your boss or your friend or even your spouse or partner asked you how your day was, how did you answer? Chances are you either said , “good” with a very laissez faire tone or “so busy” like you were the proud owner of a busy life. This isn’t entirely your fault that you’ve been conditioned to respond in this way. Our society has painted the picture that if you’re not hustling, you’re not getting ahead. If you’re not always doing something, you’re lazy. If you’re not working to your absolute limit, you probably could take on more work. And guess what? None of that is health. None of that is sustainable. None of that is how any of us probably dream of living our lives. When you really think about it, who wants to be working 24/7? Even if you LOVE your job, your brain needs a break. Even if you LOVE your kids, you need a break from them sometimes.
Our time and schedules are not meant to be filled to the brim at every waking moment. Now on the flipside, this also doesn’t mean we should spend copious amounts of time each day on mind numbing activities. We shouldn’t be spending countless hours on social media comparing our lives to influencers who are heavily filtered. We shouldn’t be binge watching Netflix every night. We shouldn’t be on the mom group text shit talking our husbands every day. BY the way, I once joined a mom group and one of the rules was that you couldn’t husband shame and I just thought that was such a good rule to implement from the beginning because if you’re having issues with your man, the best person you should be talking to about those issues is your man. I digress.
And finally, there’s the bad habit you may have formed when it comes to saying yes and saying no. You probably say yes to a lot of things that you shouldn’t. Being the room mom. Organizing the snack schedule for the soccer team. Going to every single birthday party. Planning the family vacation alone. And, what goes along with these yes’s? Well, no’s of course. Because you’re saying yes to all the other stuff, you now end up constantly say no to things you’d love to do, but you believe you shouldn’t or can’t do because of all the responsibilities you’re managing as a working mom who likes to say yes. Maybe even right now as you’re reading this blog post, you’re thinking to yourself, should I be doing something else? Should I respond to that email? Should I look for a new job? Should I find a new hairstylist so my highlights look on point for that job’s interview since my hairstylist is on maternity leave?
Now if you’re vibing with me until now, recognize these thoughts and feelings are normal. Also recognize you have total power to decide how you respond. The excuses are real. The reasons are valid. And there will always be a very compelling temptation to just say no. But, we’re not talking about drugs here people. We’re talking about making major shifts and living the lives we were meant to live. You could do this alone, but it’s a treacherous road. You’ll probably get lost, more than once. You’ll definitely doubt yourself, your mode of transportation, your directions, your destination, all of it. Having someone in the passenger seat with you is a surefire way to get there quicker, with less interruptions, while listening to your favorite jams and eating your favorite snacks. I want to be in your passenger seat. I want to meet you. want to schedule a breakthrough call so we can map out the best and most direct route to your destination. This breakthrough call is totally free. There are absolutely no strings attached. I want to see you do amazing things, no matter how busy, how tired, how hard it feels. Schedule your totally FREE breakthrough call here.
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