How to Ditch Perfectionism
Jun 10, 2024
When I was a kid, I heard the expression, “Practice makes perfect” a lot. I heard it from the strict teachers at the Catholic school I went to. I heard it from my mom who always encouraged me to do my best. I heard it from the ballet instructor, the glee club leader, even the softball coach.
I rarely achieved level "perfect" in anything I did, even when I practiced my ass off. I wasn’t the best student in the class, ballerina at the recital, and not even close to being a good singer in the glee club even though I sang those songs day and night-practicing my heart out. And truth be told, I didn’t practice softball all that much because I hated it, so I never even came close to perfect there-but that one was no surprise.
All this to say, practice is important-VERY important if you want to get better at something. But, I this notion of striving for perfection can also be exhausting (and disheartening in many cases).
We all have our gifts. Mine do NOT include singing or playing softball. I was a pretty good ballerina for some time, I'm sure in part due to my commitment to practice. But, not being able to achieve perfect status also played a part in discouraging me to not go after challenging things for some time. It made me play it safe in some cases and obsess over other things to the point of not even enjoying them anymore. If I couldn’t get it perfect, it was either, “Why bother trying” or give it my blood, sweat, and tears until I got it just right (which, let’s be honest, usually didn’t even happen). The letdown of not achieving perfect was disappointing and soul crushing after all that hard work.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate being detail oriented-crossing my T's and dotting my I's. I work hard to do my best at anything I do. But, I’ve ditched the goal of perfect that used to consistently hitch a ride on life’s journey with me. And I'm a lot happier because of it.
How’d I do it? Here are a few simple ways:
- I changed my mindset. Did you know mindset is responsible for 95% of your success? Instead of striving for perfection (something that doesn’t even exist in humanity), I opted for things like, “my best”, “100% effort”, and sometimes just, “done”. It was freeing to mentally shift my approach and even more freeing when it came down to time, energy, and outcome to feel at peace with it all.
- I stopped saying things like, “Practice makes perfect.” That’s right, I kicked this lie of an expression to the curb and started replacing it with, “Practice makes progress”, which is true 100% of the time.
- I embraced my authenticity and gifts and recognized others for theirs. Just like you won’t be everybody’s friend, you won't be the best at everything you do. And that’s ok. I recognized that it’s not a matter of “I can’t do that”, which can make me want to try even harder to prove myself wrong. It’s a matter of, “I don’t want to do that because I enjoy doing this much more”. And who doesn’t want to spend more time doing things they love?!
People say comparison is the thief of joy. Well, I think perfectionism is the thief of joy, happiness, peace, and everything in between. Once you’re able to get that part of you in check, you can breathe easier knowing your best is indeed the perfect place to be. I’m super excited for you to learn all about perfectionism and how to say, “Buh bye” to her on this week’s podcast episode. Be sure to check it out if you want to learn more about finding more joy in your working mom life!
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