Too Busy to Dream? How Moms Can Still Dream and Create
Oct 02, 2024
When I would ride the train from the East Bay to San Francisco commuting to my corporate office, I often had a laundry list of tasks I would use the time to productively accomplish: Amazon orders, social media content creation for Mama Work It, blog writing, RSVP'ing to bday parties followed by order the bday gift, making lists (all sorts of lists). Other days, I consumed content rather than create it. I listened to audiobooks or podcasts, usually on a topic that was going to elevate my business or myself. And yes, some days my consumption was more of a social media feed scroll. Finally, there were days, I just sat quietly and let myself dream.
Most times, we don't do this though. We don't stay quiet enough in our own heads to allow the dreaming to come through. We're busy planning ahead. We're busy overthinking the past. We're just busy.
And the thing about being busy is this. It's completely acceptable. In fact, it's almost weird and sad to not be busy. Not being busy makes you feel like a failure. Like you should have signed your kids up for more activities. Like your business isn't thriving. Like people in your life don't care about you.
What the actual f*ck?!
If being busy is good and not being busy is bad, but dreaming is good, yet we have no time to dream because we're too busy, how does this all work together?
Make it make sense!
When the pandemic hit and my commute was no longer a viable option to dream, I found it even harder as a mom to create the time and space to make it happen. Now that the busyness of life had slowed down from school and commutes and sports practices, I should have ample time to dream, right? Wrong. As moms, busyness finds us no matter what the circumstances. But also, there were other factors that got in the way of my dreamy moments.
First, there's the issue of alone time. Who has that when you're a mom of four? Couple that with being quarantined for months on end, the solitude was very limited. Next, there's the noise level. My home is typically loud, like maximum car radio level loud. It's hard to dream when there's a lot of background noise. Then, there's the exhaustion. If I'm waiting until nighttime when things are quiet and I'm alone to dream, I'm dreaming alright, but it's more of the sleep dreams vs. the awake ones. Finally, it can feel challenging to dream when you're in a tough season. If you're experiencing burnout, it's hard to feel hope. And when you don't feel hopeful, you certainly don't feel like dreaming.
But, dreaming is a big part of who I am. If I'm not dreaming, something is definitely wrong. So, I needed to find another way that didn't involve the lull of a train and the company of quiet strangers on public transportation to prioritize this important piece of my identity. So, I started running. Dreaming helped me add some solid miles to my training goals at the time and running allowed me space and solitude to dream away.
Nowadays I'm not running that often, I do walk though. I dream during those moments. I find pockets of time throughout the day to dream too-in the car, washing dishes, in the shower. Dreaming can happen anywhere, but it's up to you to create the time and space for it to find you and not fill those moments with distractions that will keep it away.
The seasons of motherhood are always evolving, but dreaming doesn't need to take a backseat when things change. You may need to change when and how you do it, but don't let it go. Because if you're a dreamer like me, you know life feels purposeless without that magical time with ourselves.
If you miss dreaming or want to learn more about how to implement more dreaming and creativity into your busy mom life, be sure to listen to the Mama Work It podcast episode 152 with guest Elisabeth Sharp McKetta, serial author and lifelong dreamer.
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